The Shoes will Drop
A long time ago on my personal social media I posted saying, "perhaps, all the shoes have dropped."
My thought process was inspired by my desire to move forward from all the hard work I do to consistently heal from a traumatic and abusive childhood. I thought that line made sense because all the really awful things, things some people never even build nightmares around, had already happened to me. I figured I'd still experience death and illnesses and hardships but I felt that all the really, awful shoes must have dropped.
I follow Yoga Girl on Instagram and adore her podcasts. This was a thought process she had decided to manifest more of in her life. It felt appropriate for me because fear was running my life.
Here is the thing my lovely beings, it was not right for me. That's okay. I still learn from the way she shares her life. It brought me deeper into finding my own way.
August 2019 an unexpected trauma changed many lives dear to me. It retriggered me too. I've spent a few months communicating my needs and learning how to support others. I've also adapted a new and realistic mantra.
The shoes will drop.
They just will. The shoes drop a lot and plentiful. Sometimes big shoes drop and take you for a nice long fall too. Sometimes they are little shoes and small falls. Sometimes the shoes leave you hanging and ready to drop.
It's okay if you drop too.
After a lifetime of pain, survival, fucking hard work and more pain. I am stepping back. I've slowed way down. I have a lovely support system. I fight against it constantly. It's hard to accept love. Really, I rear my lion heart ready to guard my vulnerability tight and hold it treasure. But I am all grown up now and it isn't working for me.
I need raw. Bursting wide open, barefeet hanging kind of acceptance. A loud beating heart I let others hear and hold.
Because my lovely beings, the shoes will drop.
And it's so important some days to wake up and step away from the shoes. Just choose not to wear any of them.
Walk on that solid foundation you built yourself.
I have a rock solid inner love I've found.
My head just won't stop holding my heart hostage yet.
So I'm inviting you to join me. Let's take the shoes off and dance. Hang your barefeet over the ledge and breathe. Let the shoes drop. You can't control everything. You still deserve rest and love and adventure.
And just let the shoes drop where they may.
*Photo by Jan Romero on Unsplash