It is funny how
when I looked at the week ahead
I would see what I could cancel.
It is ironic that all I really want to do
is stay home.
It has been two months at least since I have
so many of you.
Please read this all and try not to take it wrong.
But there is a part of me if I could spend these days
away so blissful.
Wrapped in the arms I choose daily, long walks,
and dinners talking about everything.
I would stay right here.
Some moments reach for days of endless sleep overs
and romantic weekends.
No, I do not wish that it continue at the sacrifice of the world.
However I must say, for me, I needed to see.
Only my love and this home I worked so diligently to build.
There were too many years I never knew safety
I will not apologize for getting some now.
But what I want you to, also know.
It has not always been easy
Not to hug you when you call.
It has been so hard to remember
friendships blossom all year,
not just in the Fall.
With your permission,
when it is safe
I want to reach
and touch your face.
I will laugh as I tell you
those endless live in dates
also left me snapping for the kitchen
How very human all this is
An existential type of feel.
I need to touch you
I want to confirm
You are still real.
Maybe we will grasp hands
and skip along the path like when we were little.
Cuddle on the couch, legs intertwined because
us girls know nothing but sister.
Take your clammy hands
and play with my hair again.
Never more will I say to stop.
I hope when my hair clings to
your palm you do not let it drop.
Save it for a moment because
all this time apart we deserve to
own our weirdness.
There are many of you that
for hours I want to hug.
Tap you with my elbow
when we hear a funny joke.
I will braid your hair
like I have a thousand times before.
And just to make up for all this lost time
I will learn to create art on your face
with makeup since you always did mine.
I never thought I would have to
choose not to hold you.
We always laughed when we were young
about the way we would grow old.
Wrinkle lines and fingers intertwined
Although I would often rather stay home
Be held by this man who loves me bold
From now on I will treasure the moments
When we meet face to face
For with so many of you
Hold a special space.
My first commitments
were to my friends while
wearing nose plugs and swimmies.
Slowly and chaotically growing into
heels and curls.
I will protect these moments raw and honest
with all my love for you
At first this was a poem for one
But now it is all of you
There is nothing more to share
I think you get it that I care
And when we are ready and it is okay
I want to revisit all those days
we were life on fire
To run hand in hand into anything
Because friendship like yours is rare.
I love you
and I am missing you
Hearts forever intertwined.