Connection and Love: Mental Health Awareness Month
I feel like I just want to talk to you today.
Like a long phone call staring at our feet
Or like a late night sharing everything in the dark with lots of snacks to eat.
Our need for connect is wild. It is innate.
You do not have to be in romantic relationship or have loads of friends. It does not make you weak to want people and to need them. You are wired for that.
There is a lot of work in the somatic field that shares how in states of threat we first look around to see who is there. Often, if there is someone there who is safe that we meet eye contact with, our nervous system automatically slows down a bit and feels safer.
You are not incomplete without people. You are not made complete by having someone. However we are designed for community and connection so it is okay to reach out. To want to build relationships in friendship and support.
Some of the bravest moments I have had is to let someone know I need their help or to listen to my desire to reach out and spend time with someone. I have had such beautiful friendships grow with this bravery.
I am good at doing life alone. I am very strong and capable. Nurturing my self love and time alone has absolutely served me. I do see how inviting people into my life amps up my ability to feel safe alone during difficult and challenging times.
It is mental health awareness month and the time of year that six years ago I was first hospitalized for being suicidal. I finally got to a point that I began to reach out and I kept reaching and reaching until I found what I needed in therapy and friends and more. I felt desperate and needy. Judged myself for not being strong enough. After all the trauma work and time healing I now see how absolutely brave I was. I do the work every step and I get the credit, but I also honor and respect those who have invested time and love in me.
Their love, guidance, and support was something I was worthy of and I could not see that. I have felt like such a burden at times and can still get hard on myself. I do not owe people anything but nevertheless I am grateful. Their investment in my journey has assisted me in getting to invest in others who need me. I have the strength to help friends leave bad relationships, search with them for therapists, meet them for coffee and hold them. I have the strength now to be available for the teenagers in my life that could use another person to invest in them. These people owe me nothing either. I am simply in awe of the vulnerability and strength I witness daily.
To give love and support to yourself and allow yourself to receive it from people is a ripple effect that allows you to build a foundation to then pour into others. And on and on it goes.
Never underestimate what a listening heart can do.